Throughout the night Caitlyn waited in silence as the great lake waves crashed ashore in constant intensity. She folded her arms, lowered and cradled her head, and whispered to herself as tears continued to stream down her cheeks, “Oh, my dear, sweet Steven, where are you? I am so worried and sad. Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. I just found you. I love you so much. Please come back to me, please.” She was exhausted and numb. She sat there on the beach until morning light. As the day began to break, her friends, family, schoolmates, United States Coastguardsmen and members of the community began to join her there on the sand. It was a traumatic view and experience for everyone. The town shut down and the high school canceled all remaining Homecoming activities. A vigil began that morning; people brought flowers, candles, crosses and flags, and a make-shift memorial began to form there on the shoreline. Caitlyn just starred out onto the water. 
The United States Coast Guard searched for Steven in the raging waters all night. They continued their search efforts that morning with additional boats and helicopters. But, by noon the search-and-rescue efforts became search-and-recovery. Caitlyn didn’t hear a word or sound from the people that gathered and milled around her on the beach. She just sat there fixated on the waters hoping and waiting for some sort of sign. She would not give up hope. She thought that Steven had to be alive, that he had to have made it to shore somehow. She made up all kinds of possible scenarios; maybe he hit his head and floated ashore but cannot figure out where he is, maybe he floated out to sea and a boater found him and picked him up, maybe he’s disoriented on the shore of the riverbanks somewhere, maybe... She continued to rethink all of the possible scenarios over and over again, and when she exhausted that subject, she continued replaying the episodes of the previous night over and over in her head. She couldn’t bring herself to face the inevitable truth. 
All day and into the next evening she sat there intensely awaiting Steven’s return. In an exhausted state two days later she fell asleep on the beach. Jason came down to the beach, picked her up and carried her home. When he arrived at her house, her parents invited him in. He walked over the living room couch and laid her down gently, covered her up with blankets and sat down next to her. He watched her sleep for a few minutes, then brushed her hair off to the side of her face and kissed her on her forehead. He felt so very sad for her and so unsettled about what happened. He felt to blame too because he couldn’t get over to the side of the lighthouse in time to figure out what was happening between Adam and Steven. And he didn’t get there in time to help Steven. His heart was filled with sorrow and regret. He knew that Caitlyn would never forgive him for what happened that night.
There was a lot of speculation about the events of the night leading to Steven’s disappearance. Adam wasn’t himself and did not utter a word to anyone following that night. Both Jason and Adam were being questioned by authorities repetitively. The entire community was in disarray.
Caitlyn slept for two days straight on the couch. When she woke up, she hoped it was all a dream. But, as she looked around the room, she was faced with the reality of the night all over again. She forced herself up and made her way up the stairs to her room. She stops cold in her tracks in the door frame as she look over at her Homecoming dress lying on the bed; awaiting in anticipation, a joyful and special romantic Homecoming evening. She immediately flashes back to her plans to be with Steven that night. Tears began streaming down her face. She leaned over, scooped up the dress in her arms and embraced it raining tears into what could have been the most beautiful night of her life.
Days passed, time crawled by and hope diminished. The community gathered a week later for Steven’s memorial service. It was a full United States Coast Guard Memorial Service. But, because they never found Steven’s body, the memorial was more of a tribute; a salute to him and his family. It was such a sad time in the community. Caitlyn wore a black dress and small black veil. She couldn’t contain the tears that streamed down her face the entire day. Steven’s grand father, father and mother made a point to come over to her and share in comforting each other. They all sat quietly as the USCG lowered the United States Flag and closed Steven’s Memorial Ceremony and evening with Taps. Steven’s mother whispered the lyrics as the USCG lowered the American Flag, extinguished all lights, and everyone extended their final goodbyes. Taps was a song Steven’s mother was very familiar with being raised and encircled among the USCG military legacy. Caitlyn was sitting right beside her and could hear the sadness in her voice. That sorrow that only a mother can exuberate was apparent and hauntingly beautiful as she sang the words, “
TAPS: Signals that unauthorized lights are to be extinguished. This is the last call of the day. The call is also sounded at the completion of a military funeral ceremony.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the skies
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
(Love) friend, goodnight…
That day was the hardest day of Caitlyn’s life. She knew it must have been for Steven’s family also. Following the memorial events Steven’s mom walked alongside Caitlyn and said, “Dear, would you mind taking a walk with me down the peir? I would like to see the base where you and Steven used to share your afternoons. Steven told me so much about you. You were very special to him.”Caitlyn replied, “Yes, of course. He is so special to me.” Caitlyn looked up at Steven’s mother with tears welling up and free-falling from her eyes. “I love him so much,” Caitlyn added in a quivering, confused tone.
They walked arm in arm down the catwalk to the edge of the Grand Haven Lighthouse. The waters were calm now and the sun was setting in the distance. “Well, I can see why Steven and you love this place so very much. The sky and horizon are breathtakingly beautiful. Steven loved the water so much. He told me about your plans to marry some day Caitlyn.” She turned towards Caitlyn, held her hands and looked her in the eyes, “He loved you. He planned to love you forever. I want you to have this.” She reached over and took off her wedding ring and placed it into the palm of Caitlyn’s hand. She then spoke up, “It was my mother’s and my grandmother’s before that. It has a long history of hardship and love. It’s to be yours now. Be blessed my dear girl. Hold Steven’s memory and love close to your heart. I know that this is what he would want, nothing more, and nothing less.” She reached over and hugged Caitlyn lovingly; as only a mother knows how.
No comments:
Post a Comment